Blog Respite

Greetings and salutations.

My apologies for not posting for awhile, but there has been a lot going on in my life and I've been trying to juggle my need to blog quite personal issues, against the fact that a lot of my IRL friends and work colleagues now occasionally pop by.

I'm still not sure how I resolve this issue, because some big stuff has been going down, but it's not just my stuff, and putting it out there affects more than just me. Ultimately, it's over-shadowed the day-to-day stuff, that I could have blogged about.

Before anyone starts worrying, Boy and I are well and happy, though we were both laid low by a cold with ambitions of flu. And you all will remember how well I cope with being ill - I did my dying swan act, shoving large quantities of ibprofen and paracetemol down my neck, while trying to keep going at work.

This week I am going to start badgering my doctor. I want to be sterilised. This is not a decision made lightly or in haste. I do not want to give birth to any more children. Boy is well into his 15th year and has discovered a social life that takes him out and about, leaving me for the first time, pretty much to my own devices. In 3 years, he's going to bugger off to university (hopefully), either that or he'll move into a crack house and work on being a master criminal. The thought of now going through a pregnancy and small children activities...the thought of in 15 years when I'm going through the menopause and dealing with a stroppy, hormonal teenager at the same time...the thought of bringing a child into this world that isn't 100% wanted - it fills me with horror.

If I didn't have Boy, I think these issues could be overcome. And yes, I am aware that there are loads of women who are having children this late in life and are brilliant mothers. I just have no intention of being one of them.

If I meet a man who wants children, then I will just have to walk away - again.
* * *
I am hoping to extract a completion date for the house from the solicitor this week. Things were made a touch more complicated due to the survey and the fact that the property is leasehold, not freehold. The surveyor has finally been able to gain access into the loft and it seems the roof is fairly sound. As for the lease, I intend to buy it. I am hopeful we will be moving before long, before my first birthday.

In my head I've got everything planned and laid out. I'm going to magnolia the house from top to bottom and replace the beige with short piled, terracotta carpets. I know it's a bit bland. But, I want a blank canvas to start with. Magnolia and terracotta flooring, gives a blank canvas which I can lay out strong colours for curtains and soft furnishings. I believe the space and how we use it will dictate the styles I choose. I've been raiding G's Homes & Gardens and although I love the styles and designs, I want to have a home which reflects my taste, not an interior desginer's. And I've been in houses which have been really stylish; in fact styled to within an inch of their lives. While they've been pretty, they haven't been spaces to relax in and kick back.

I want a home in which people drop by for coffee, where Boy and his mates will do fry-ups when when they've come home from the pub. Where friends from Boston will move in for Christmas and create devastation. A garden perfect for having dinner in, drinking wine in the evening. And most importantly...a dishwasher. You see where my priorities lie?

Comments

  1. Aahhh..warm neutrals. They're definitely the way of the future. My bedroom (the only space I call my own) is much the same. Cream with tiny veins of gold on the walls, cream carpet and sheets, sandy/gold curtains and blood red cushions on the bed as an accent. Its cheaper to change the cushions than to totally redecorate so I'm all for a blank canvas!

    As for the personal stuff - if you need a sounding board, you know where I am. I hope it all starts to brighten up soon!

    Bx

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  2. beth ~ things haven't been bad, it's just been a lot of changes, which have been tough getting used to. But thank you sweetheart, your support is very much appreciated.

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  3. Lol... Dishwashers !
    I vowed i would never need one, after my fella got me one a few months back i now wonder how i coped, they are superb as it does the work while we drink wine in the garden :)
    Its all good stuff happening Roses i know so smile and look forward to summer, were gonna party salsa style and spend many nights with wine in that beautiful sunshine.
    P.s You looked stunning
    xxx

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  4. B*E*G ~ thank you honey, you are so sweet. Every time I get dressed for salsa I always think 'got to be glam for Jo'.

    I am dreaming of the dishwasher, I really am. I can't wait...I just HATE doing the dishes, I really, really, REALLY do.

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  5. Self 55, wife 60, younger set of twins 19...say no more!

    Forget the bloody pale insipid magnolia...go straight in with the bold colours and see what happens...if you screw up, they'll always cover...we've got a dining room with red walls, midnight blue drop, mottled gold/red ceiling (yeah we painted the ceiling gold and ragged red over it)...it might sound awful, but we love it...

    We also have a ragged terracotta & stripped pine kitchen, none of which is fitted...

    Jeez, this younger generation do sometimes lack boldness! (not to mention foolhardiness!).

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  6. cogidubnus ~ yes 'tis true...I am indeed a decorating wimp. I suppose at the end of the day, Boy won't mind and the Cat won't care.

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  7. Hello stranger!

    I completely understand about the break from blogging - I've found it impossible to write about trivial stuff when important things are going on and there are some things you don't want to write about until they are clear in your own mind.

    Good luck with the move.

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  8. sanddancer ~ hey gorgeous! Good to know you get what I mean. Are you well sweetheart?

    I will need all the luck I can get. I hate moving.

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  9. Sounds like the big decisions are shifting the small stuff. good luck with the move.

    You know where i am if you need to chat or hide.
    xxx

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  10. britswitch ~ Hey honey.Yep, there certainly is a lot of big stuff going down. I'm certainly up for a ladies weekend. Definitely.

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  11. The colours sound great. If you need any help painting, let me know.

    I'm sorry you've not been so grand. If you need anything you know where I am x

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