Progress Report

Another good day, this time at college. I'm beginning to get the hang of the logic behind the Adobe software, which is amazing, but does require you to turn into a bit of a geek. I'm not even a baby-geek at the moment, but at least I can do some of what I want, which is a bit of a start. After the various software inductions last week I came home and poured myself a large one.

Also, last month I applied to be part of the Graduate Teaching Associates. Basically, it's where they pay you to become a teaching assistant/lecturer. There are only 6 positions within the college and the competition for them is fierce. I didn't even get a look in. Which considering the extra days I'm currently doing at work, which will increase during December, is not necessarily a bad thing. But that didn't stop me being gutted all the same. Monday I bumped into my old Course Leader and gave him my tale of woe, he said I could pop in and see him, any time. Today, I went to him and said 'it's not that I'm desperate, or overly keen, but...can I have some teaching experience?' It will have to be done volutarily, simply because the course just doesn't have the money in the budget, but, it does mean that next year when I apply for the position again, my CV will look brilliant and I'll have a much better chance at landing GTA. I must admit I am dead chuffed that they were keen to have me back. It's always good to feel wanted.

On another note, I bumped into an ex of mine this afternoon. I was making my way from the Post-Grad Centre, to my 16.15 meeting with my current Course Leader, I had just done a load of work for my Core Unit and was feeling very pleased with myself for a) getting that done and b) for getting the dance mix on my MP3 player right for my mood. I was dodging puddles and humming along to Royksopp when there was this man, who looked slightly familiar. He stumbled slightly and then we made eye contact.

I try not to regret the daft things I've done, the poor choices which I've made out of poor judgement. After all, everything is a learning experience and from bad experiences comes good judgement. However, he remains my one true regret, the only mistake I wish I could go back and undo. He really wiped the floor with me, pretty much ruined my chance at a career. A lot of innocent people were hurt in the fall out. In the time since we split, I've always wondered what would have happened if I'd been smarter. Today, I looked at him as we exchanged pleasantries, and realised how much I have achieved. He asked me how I was doing, and I began rattling off the stuff I had done since, the degree I got, the MA I was working towards. Nothing much had changed for him, except he got older and wider.

Actually, it isn't about the fact that today I was feeling really good and he just looked tired, though there is a little bit of that floating about - I'm sure I warned you I'm not a nice person - but it was more about the fact that I am exactly where I want to be. I'm so glad I'm not working in that office, feeling crap about the work, crap about the people I work with. I'm doing a part-time job I really love doing, even with the recent upheaval at work. I'm doing a course that challenges me creatively and intellectually. My Boy is fabulous and next week will be 14 (OMG). I'm in a relationship which is healthy and stable and a lot of fun.

Yeah, the miseries do hound me; but I'm still hanging in there. I'm doing alright. Many thanks to the Universe for pointing that one out to me.