Blessings for Mabon

As the Wheel of the Year turns to it's climax, pagans everywhere (and most of the population) are lamenting the loss of summer and pulling out the woolies for the winter ahead. Last night the Norwich Chant Collective had a small gathering in a roundhouse in the middle of a North Norfolk field to celebrate the festival of Mabon.

Mabon is essentially the last harvest festival of the year, and one of the things that we really like to do is celebrate with wine, women and song (and lashings of homemade carrot cake and buns). We spent a bit of time reflecting on the year and our triumphs and defeats. And I've continued the reflection into today. For the first time in about 4 months I went for a bus ride.

I suppose I haven't really had the time to have a good ponder for ages. I've been rushing around like a mad thing, spinning plates and ignoring my kitchen. Things have been changing and I haven't really had a chance to get to grips with all the new stuff and the old stuff still hanging around.

I finished my degree and I'm about to start my MA. I feel a definite shift about my creative stuff. As far as my writing is concerned I'm a writer without a book to write. I can't find an idea that I can really commit to, which is pretty pants quite frankly. My poetry, I'm a bit slack on at the moment, but that's fine, I still jot ideas down. My photography is going really well and I can see the difference in the quality of images I'm taking, and equally importantly, I'm developing a critical eye which is all stuff to bring into the degree.

This has been the summer of weddings. As you know my friend Alix married, my Viking's cousin married and about 10 days ago an Ex of mine also got married. It's always a bit weird when an ex gets married, and you're not. It's not that I wish him ill, or we broke up badly, because neither is true. Nor is it that I'm dropping hints at my Viking either. *Viking stop panicking*. I think it's more to do with the fact that I feel I've been drifting a bit in the last few months.

Last year I gave up having Big Plans. I decided to just see what happens. So, what happened? I got my degree and kept my sanity (just), I've been in a very satisfactory relationship, my Boy has grown as tall as me, my Pops died, I got a job I really enjoy. Not in that order or priority. I've also realised that as much as I would have liked to have had more children, that part of my life is done. Which has made me start to think about the life I would like to lead. In 4 years time, my Boy is going to up sticks and head off to university to become a vet. I'm going to become essentially, footloose and fancyfree. Last year I was thinking about moving down to London; that I shelved simply because I had a hell of a year and I just didn't feel up to it. I always think to live in London well, you have to be a very robust person. The pace is relentless. So I could think about moving down to London in 4 years time. But to do what?

I was also thinking about journeys on a bigger scale. There would be no reason why I couldn't go travelling. I could rent my flat out and hit the trail. Perhaps I could land a syndication in a broadsheet and a publishing deal to write about my experiences. Well, the stuff of dreams, but then as the saying goes, stranger things happen at sea. I don't know.

I do know that the future starts in this moment, in how I live my life now. My impetus as ever, is that I live well. For me living well means being engaged in the moment, finding the joy and pleasure in the situations that life brings. I have found this way of living to be the most fulfilling. It might be hedonistic and slightly selfish, but I've decided that I shall be like Magick and follow the path of least resistance.