Drunk and in Charge of a Keyboard

I'm sure this isn't a good idea. One I will regret and perhaps delete when sobriety hits. But since when has that ever stopped me? Never. I'm going to tell you a little about why I'm such a fundamental optimist. Why I feel compelled to help the talented people around (and yes, there are many). This isn't a "OMG, Poor me" post. I've only had a gin and tonic, I'm not quite there enough to let the Self-Pity Gnome in.

I'm a bit of an outsider in my Life. 

During my childhood, I didn't look like my family. I was adopted. I didn't know my racial origins. I was scrawny, short-sighted and had teeth and a smile only a mother could love. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up. I was socially awkward, unathletic and preferred the company of animals. I liked books, but was rubbish at school. I liked people and had a weird kind of confidence with them, but didn't really connect with anyone for any length of time. All in all, I was a bit of a mess. 

I wanted to be like my brother. He always knew what he wanted to do. I respected that so much. That passion to exclude all other things, to just know what path needed to be trod. That was just so cool.

I though this passion could be found in relationships with the opposite sex. But no, I chose badly; it all went horribly wrong and I've since learnt to love very carefully. It can be a bit of a compromise, but I love as much as I feel safe to, so I'm not hurt by rejection too much.

Writing as my preferred form of communication has been with me since I nicked my father's Brother typewriter at 13. It was only at 33 that I began to learn how to construct a story someone might actually want to read from start to finish. Ten years later, I haven't really written anything apart from my random blogging and a novella.

I have commitment issues.

That's why I'm so utterly inspired by talented people who follow through their passions with actions. I am blessed with friends both online and IRL who are writers, artists, poets, musicians, photographers and entrepreneurs, I just want to help. That's part of the reason why I did the NLP, I thought it would enable me to help people who wanted to do something different.

Simple really.

Too see people who are prepared to walk to the ends of the earth to make their dreams come true, who do that bit more different, that's really something. 

Comments

  1. I'm also impressed by those people who have clear goals and just keep plugging away until they achieve them. I'm one of those people who drifts from one thing to another in a totally unplanned fashion. Luckily the drifting has worked out pretty well.

    My childhood was similar. I was also scrawny, short-sighted and socially awkward. I've gained a bit more self-confidence over the years but it still doesn't come easily.

    Maybe you could expand the novella into a full-length book? Does the plot lend itself to spreading out in other directions?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, it doesn't particularly lend itself to spreading out in other directions...but there you go. I'll come up with something eventually.

      Delete
  2. I have a feeling that short-sightedness really doesn't help one's social skills.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No it doesn't. Especially when the glasses are so incredibly thick.

      It only really improved once I got contact lenses. Since then, you'd have to pry me out of them with a crowbar. Never again glasses.

      Delete
  3. Adopted? That means your new parents really, really wanted you! What a wonderful thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd think, wouldn't you?

      Unfortunately, it just made a complicated family, far, far more complicated.

      Delete
  4. I'm 46 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the best people haven't made their minds up yet!

      Delete
  5. What a beautiful post x

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm also adopted. it isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we get fed a lot of crap about 'happy families' and in time we come to believe it.

      I haven't met anyone whose family hasn't included a good dose of complication, dysfunction or out and out crazy.

      Being adopted just means you think there's something up with you, when in fact, it's just false expectations.

      Delete
  7. "I didn't know my racial origins"

    If you are interested in tracing your heritage, there is an easy way with genetic testing.

    I often wondered about that myself and confirmed paternal ancestry from Wales and discovered maternal ancestry from Southern England. I used the kit from National Geographic.

    Your mitochondrial DNA will reveal your maternal heritage. Because of the nature of genetics, unless you have a spare Y chromosome, you would have to locate a brother or your father to determine paternal heritage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happily, I now know my racial heritage. I'm mixed race.

      My mother's family is white and from England apparently. My father is also mixed, but Indian (Tamil from Kerala) and there's some Portuguese in there somewhere.

      I'm pretty comfortable in my skin now. Even though I have to stop and think 'I am a woman of colour.' I just think I'm Roses.

      Delete

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