Say 'Cheeeeeese'

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm a bit fragile this morning. I look ahead at the weekend and realise I'm just going to have to Man-the-fuck-Up and get used to it. This weekend, I actually have a social life. I hope you were sitting down when you read that and didn't hurt yourself in the resulting shock of reading that sentence. Yes, it is indeed true.

Last night, I went drinking with Boy's Lovely's mum (still with me?). Boy's Lovely's mum is as lovely as Boy's Lovely. It's obviously genetic. After celebrating a very self-congratulatory Mother's Day together, we thought it would be great to have a self-congratulatory drink. It involved the pub up the road and cider. I need say nothing more on the subject. You can fill in the appropriate blanks with the knowledge that the end of the evening did not involve drunken texts or bail money. I behaved myself.

Tonight, I'm off to the Unthank Supper Club to be dined, with wine and good company. This is a measure of my optimism at the moment, for today I had my braces adjusted. The orthodontist, who with what he lacks in social niceties, makes up with gentleness and soothing noises, tells me as I arrive that 'today we will be doing some inter-dental stripping'.

The sadist.

I pointed out to him my slightly delicate state and that I didn't see how taking my clothes off in the surgery would benefit the straightening of my teeth. I think he's getting used to me. He merely smiled. He informed me that it involved shaving millimetres of my row of bottom teeth. I pointed out my slightly delicate state. Three halves of cider really doesn't make me feel up to anything the next morning (yes, I'm a lightweight). He says lie back and think of England, it's like energetic flossing.

Before I die, I will master the one-raised-eyebrow trick, I swear I will.

Basically, he took an emery board to the front teeth on my lower jaw. There was no pain involved, I'm happy to say. I suspect he did more plaque, than enamel removal, but hey, what do I know? I'm not the expert. The great news is: it's not long now!

It's not long now before my Hollywood smile becomes a reality! Whoop whoop! If I can get the end date out of him, I'll book some time with my dental hygenist and get my teeth whitened as soon as possible (if not on the same day). So, I'm quite excited. Not that you can tell by looking at me.

Saturday involves some socialising with Gee's bruv and family and then, I'm off to see a film at Cinema City. With a man (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). I'm going to have to drive so it'll be a dry experience. Which is just as well. My liver is out of practice.