Saturday, November 27, 2010

Global Warming

Ladies and gentlemen, it is snowing again. The sky has been regurgitating the white stuff since Tuesday. Today, however, the snow looks here to stay.

Snow is not my natural element. Growing up in Trinidad where it got a bit chilly at 26'C, has made my living in a cold climate a bit of a challenge. I like to be warm. Being warm makes me happy. When people come over to my house to be fed, watered and entertained, they tend to have to strip their layers (no it's not a ploy, you have such suspicious minds. Would I do such a thing on purpose?) and complain about the heat. My house is heated to tropical temperatures. I like to wake up in the morning and not see my breath, or have to scrape the ice off the inside of the windows.

When I first moved to Norfolk to work for my dad in his pub, the locals regaled me with tales of the Winter of '86: 10 foot snow drifts, customers skiing to the pub for their fix of Adnams. I bought thick tights, thermal vests, a good winter coat and waited for the snow. I waited for two years before I experienced a decent, settled snow. Mostly, winters in Norfolk tend to be cold, grey and occasionally frosty. Sometimes it snows, mostly it doesn't. Until the last couple of years.

Last winter, it snowed four times; heavily enough to hang around for weeks at a time. The trouble is no one can ever tell whether it'll be a harsh or mild winter until it happens round these parts. Yes, I can buy winter tyres, but I don't know about you, there's more I'd like to spend £450, on the off chance we might be snowed in.

This winter seems a might enthusiastic. This is the earliest wide spread snow in 17 years. Now 17 years ago, I wasn't taking too much notice of the weather. I was hugely pregnant and waiting impatiently for Boy to evacuate his nice warm abode and come and meet me. Anyway, you'd think being snowed in the City, would be less of a problem than being snowed out in the countryside. You'd be wrong.

The part of the City where I live, is gently undulating. There are quite steep hills upon which row on row of Victorian terraces perch. These hills aren't very high at all, those of you who live in proper hilly areas are probably mopping your keyboards by now. Hope you haven't choked on your pastry darling. The problem with this arrangement is two-fold. Firstly, parking. The roads to get to my house only allow single lane traffic, due to the cars parked either side. Secondly, because they are tertiary roads and narrow, they don't get gritted. Do you begin to see the potential for problems? Sliding towards a parked car is an interesting experience. Let me tell you, when my heart beats that fast, normally it's usually due to firemen or Robert Downey Jr. I would rather make those noises under different circumstances.

Walking around in the snow is not a pleasant experience either. Especially if it's had 24 hours to sit around. It means it's melted a bit and frozen overnight and if there's more snow...oh goody. I look like a right knob when I go out and about in the snow. I have a woolly hat, long wool coat, gloves, scarf, stout walking boots and a staff. I am the silliest upright woman on the street. I would rather be upright, than be sprawled in the dirty snow. I'm a single woman, and I don't care about fashion when it comes to not bruising, spraining or breaking things in my body. It just tends to mean people walk a little ahead of me when we go out. I can live with it.

So yes, this Global Warming. I'm unimpressed. I would have looked forward to the UK becoming more Mediterranean. I have lots of summer clothes I'd like to wear. I look so much better with a slight tan. More summer afternoons sunbathing in my garden would be welcome. But this....snow and cold business...it just doesn't work for me.

17 comments:

  1. I'm excited. I love snow.

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  2. z ~ I look forward to pictures of the snowmen you build.

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  3. Good morning Roses! I know what you mean.

    I have the opposite problem though. I am looking for a cooler, wetter place to live. This hellish hot Texas climate is becoming too wearing to take much longer. I am OK with layering up to stay warm. Here, one can only strip down to a certain level to keep cool.

    Grey Goose w/ cranberry?

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  4. Not enough snow yet, but I have hopes.

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  5. xl ~ I agree, lets swap. I'm having porridge, too early for Grey Goose, even with cranberry.

    z ~ you're so weird. That's why I like you.

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  6. Anonymous11:37 am

    The place in Franconia I inhabitate is known for its mild wine growing climate. I awoke this (late) morning only to see snow everywhere. Not too much, but definitely snow. I do not want to know how it must look in other parts, especially the more hilly regions. It's still not enough for snowmen.

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  7. Have just walked to the shops. It's mostly just slush, but my estate is already getting like last year - most of it is in shade all day, and so the ice just settles on the pavements.

    I like wearing coats and hats.

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  8. I quite enjoy dressing up as Paddington bear... well for a couple of days... last year I grew bored with it.
    It's flipping freezing!!! Later I will curl up infront of the fire and watch Strictly. I may even have a hot toddy.
    Sx

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  9. mago ~ wine growing territory eh? Explains your fine palate. You can borrow some of my snow to make your snowman, no problem

    dave ~ watch out on the pavements tomorrow, it'll turn them into glass by the morning and you'll be singing 'Slip Sliding Away' before you know it.

    ms scarlet ~ complete with floppy hat and bottle of marmalade? Only one hot toddy? Really?

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  10. I'd like a little of this rumoured global warming too please. I don't mind snow the few days around Christmas but this is too early. It's been snowing on and off here since Tuesday.

    Personally I don't believe in sensible footwear so I don't own winter boots. I'm like Bambi on the frozen lake. Not that I care because I refuse spending a fortune on fashionable winter boots when it's supposed to get warmer. For now it's either my Camper or Lloyds dress shoes.

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  11. Anonymous10:25 pm

    Holy cow, Pete, Lloyds are great, but its freezing ice. Last year I had to wear my slippers made from finest black Hirschleder sometimes for work in the night, I nearly froze off my toes.

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  12. cyberpete ~ I'm not surprised you don't own any sensible footwear. Walking boots don't tend to come with sequins, sparkles and look fabulous. I'll try not to mind that you wouldn't walk across the road with me.

    mago ~ you and me, we're singing from the same hymn sheet. We just have to acknowledge that Pete is far more fabulous than us.

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  13. Anonymous1:32 am

    I happily acknowledge that Pete is a lot more glamorous than me and fab, but braking off Bambie's frozen toes is no fun and can never be done in style.

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  14. mago ~ like I said, I get where you're coming from. For me it's always been comfort and warmth over style.

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  15. I always feel left out as I live 5 minutes from work during the week and don't have the same trouble getting to work as everyone else. It's most unfair.

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  16. Good evening Roses,

    I have found over the years, that in proper company, to stay horizontal and generating ones own body heat, is a fine way to make time for the civil servants to clear the roads for safe travel. Not to mention, keeping a warm glow for later travels. Think of it as an opportunity.

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  17. mme dF ~ that is hugely unfair. You need to move right away. So you too can 'work from home'.

    karl ~ the opportunity to while the time away in bed with someone else has not presented itself. It seems I become more fussy, the older I get. However, there are more Criminal Minds dvds....

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