Public Service Announcement

It has come to my attention that perhaps gentlemen could use some beauty advice. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to educate you in good grooming practises that will ensure your significant other will continue to want to get up close and personal with you in years to come. And strangers in the street will stop walking to the other side of the road, or stop staring at a point just behind your head.

Gentlemen find a mirror and flare your nostrils.

If you can see even a strand of nasal hair...you are in need of my help.

I once had the most unfortunate experience. I went to a meeting. A serious meeting. A meeting where I could not afford to be distracted. The gentleman next to me had nasal hair a ring-tailed lemur could have swung from. Unfortunately, he had a bit of a cold. And no tissue or hanky. It meant that the tips of the hairs hanging proudly from his nose, dangling above his shaved upper lip were glistening. Glistening I tell you. Perfectly formed drops reflecting all the colours of the rainbow. All I can say is his wife and he must have been in difficulties, for her to let him out of the house looking like that. Can you imagine what his nose would have been like when it all dried up?

Because you, my gentle readers, are not right bastards and I enjoy your company greatly, I offer this advice: pluck or trim. I'm not a fan of plucking. Makes ones eyes water and hurts like hell. Many chemists in their electrical section offer men's grooming kits. You can buy nasal trimmers that won't shred the inside of your nose, but will whisk those pesky danglies away in 5 minutes. You will probably need to do this as part of your fortnightly grooming routine, but trust me, the effort is worth it. And while you're at it, check for ear hair and trim those too.

For those of you that will argue for the au naturel look, that will say 'all you have to do is tuck them in' - NO.

It doesn't work. The pesky danglies, will quickly untangle themselves and swing free above your top lip. Nor does trying to blend them in with your moustache work either. Just because the hair at the top of your head has migrated to your nostrils, you're going to have to face up to the fact it's really not sexy. It's not like you'll ever be able to style them properly. Let them go.

It's not big, it's not clever. It's certainly not sexy. It's nasty. Go trim.