Public Service Announcement

It has come to my attention that perhaps gentlemen could use some beauty advice. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to educate you in good grooming practises that will ensure your significant other will continue to want to get up close and personal with you in years to come. And strangers in the street will stop walking to the other side of the road, or stop staring at a point just behind your head.

Gentlemen find a mirror and flare your nostrils.

If you can see even a strand of nasal hair...you are in need of my help.

I once had the most unfortunate experience. I went to a meeting. A serious meeting. A meeting where I could not afford to be distracted. The gentleman next to me had nasal hair a ring-tailed lemur could have swung from. Unfortunately, he had a bit of a cold. And no tissue or hanky. It meant that the tips of the hairs hanging proudly from his nose, dangling above his shaved upper lip were glistening. Glistening I tell you. Perfectly formed drops reflecting all the colours of the rainbow. All I can say is his wife and he must have been in difficulties, for her to let him out of the house looking like that. Can you imagine what his nose would have been like when it all dried up?

Because you, my gentle readers, are not right bastards and I enjoy your company greatly, I offer this advice: pluck or trim. I'm not a fan of plucking. Makes ones eyes water and hurts like hell. Many chemists in their electrical section offer men's grooming kits. You can buy nasal trimmers that won't shred the inside of your nose, but will whisk those pesky danglies away in 5 minutes. You will probably need to do this as part of your fortnightly grooming routine, but trust me, the effort is worth it. And while you're at it, check for ear hair and trim those too.

For those of you that will argue for the au naturel look, that will say 'all you have to do is tuck them in' - NO.

It doesn't work. The pesky danglies, will quickly untangle themselves and swing free above your top lip. Nor does trying to blend them in with your moustache work either. Just because the hair at the top of your head has migrated to your nostrils, you're going to have to face up to the fact it's really not sexy. It's not like you'll ever be able to style them properly. Let them go.

It's not big, it's not clever. It's certainly not sexy. It's nasty. Go trim.

Comments

  1. It gets up my nose as well!

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  2. I do. Indeed I did this very morning.

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  3. I've done for as long as I can remember. Although not with one of those newfangled electrical products but rather a small pair of scissors. They work well.

    I do not have ear hair.

    The man you referred to could have been my father because my mother gave up on him over 20 years ago and now let's him out looking the way he wants to look.

    ReplyDelete
  4. rog ~ fnar, fnar.

    dave ~ good man.

    cyberpete ~ I would have been shocked if you had said otherwise. Your personal grooming is impeccable. As for your father...ah well.

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  5. the world salutes, you, sugar! well done! xoxoxo

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  6. savannah ~ I'm just doing my civic duty.

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  7. sarah ~ my point exactly.

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  8. He is a lost cause on the ear hair as well.

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  9. cyberpete ~ oh dear.

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  10. Hello,

    Men and hair. Usually having lots not where you expect it. Anyway less of that.. We once had to pluck dad's eyebrow as he had a huge hair lolling down from his brow and it was getting in his eye, mum was quick and efficient and it was gone in seconds but he still moans about the pain now.

    ReplyDelete
  11. xl ~ good to see you men are agreeing with me.

    archivegirl ~ you've provided a good addition to the blog post.

    Gentlemen check your eyebrows. If you can plait or style them - trim!

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  12. The bushy Breschnjew look is out?

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  13. mago ~ as he doesn't have flowing nasal or ear hair, I can cope with his eyebrows.

    ReplyDelete

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