Cover Up!

Its officially a heat wave, and I think it's melted peoples' brains.

I have never seen so many scantily clad people in my life, all shapes and sizes.

I just want to go around with a huge vat of sun cream and a bunch of t-shirts. Cover it up! Please?

English men should not wear trousers that have been cut off at the knee. They aren't shorts. They are masacred trousers. And they should definitely not wear flip-flops with them. Especially to walk around the city. Flip-flops are beach-wear. This is the city, damn it, not the flippin beach.

Oh yeah, and while you're at it, please can you also ensure that your boxers and trousers don't part company around your waist? I don't want to see your Calvins, really I don't.

And put a t-shirt on! I don't care if you've got a 6 pack. Put it away!


  1. I much prefer men in winter attire - even the best formed of them, I'd rather see in a jeans and a jumper than in shorts. I also don't like to see men in flip flops at all.

  2. Don't look at me, sunshine. I'm very fully covered. Not 'arf!

  3. I so know what you's the men in vests on the tube which I have found particularly offensive this week.

    It's bad enough having to stand with your face in someone's armpit on the tube anyway but when they are big fat hairy man in a ill-fitting vest ...bleeugh

  4. sanddancer ~ thank goodness, it's not just me.

    dickiebo ~ I was keeping an eye on you, I know what you're like!

    NM ~ shame you have too much self-control. I'd be tempted to throw up on them and blame the little monkey-bump.

  5. My local Tesco is next door to a Holiday Caravan Site...I'm just down the road from it...My home town is also a Butlins resort (giveaway!) wanna believe I've seen it all...

    But the worst offenders I've seen are female...mostly huge bleached blonde beached whales who bare their repulsive midriffs and whine estuarine about the absence of some petty item in the supermarket ... mostly because it's changeover Saturday and some 500 of them have just mindlessly advanced, locustlike and mindless down the aisles, all seeking salad goods "cos it's 'ot and we been in the car for hours"

    And then in the early hours of the morning, they thread their way up our road en route to bed puking over our walls, waking up the kids with their shouting and swearing, vandalising our cars and picking fights on any unfortunate they meet...last year I caught a couple of them lifting the slabs in my front garden...and separately some idiot having a pee in my BACK garden!

    The men aren't a lot better...

    God preserve me...They're critical to the local economy...but roll on bloody October!

  6. cogidubnus ~ one word ~ eewwww!

    You poor love. I'm surprised you haven't been tempted to move somewhere more remote. Finding some woman peeing in my back garden would have me packing my bags.

  7. ha ha I remember living in England and at the first ray of sun the t-shirts would be off and most paleskinned men would be sunburnt as beetroots before day 1 of the 'heatwave'. Agree men shouldn't wear massacred shorts.

  8. EmmaK ~ hail and welcome. Pull up a chair, have a glass of something naughty. Thanks for popping by.

    Yes, the sight of all that burnt flesh really does turn the stomach.


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