Lyrics 101

I've been listening to Kiss FM quite a lot recently. The borrowed sporty car doesn't have a CD player, and I'd sooner drink lye to listen to Radio 1, so Kiss FM is the next sane choice. Before you start - no, I don't listen to Radio 4, I know it makes me look entirely without street cred, but I don't. You'll just have to accept that about me, I'm afraid.

Kiss FM is mainly R&B, with some good dance chucked in occasionally, which suits me fine mostly. However, as I've been driving along, I've realised that there are some song writers who I'd like to give a couple of hours a week creative writing lessons.

These are the lyrics to Forever as sung by Chris Brown.

It's you and me
Moving at the speed of light into eternity
Tonight is the night
To join me in the middle of ecstasy

*Warning. Warning. Cliche Alert*

Okay. I hold my hand up and hang my head in shame. My name is Roses and I used to write in cliches. I have been cliche free now for 1095 days. It was hard work, humiliating at times. But I stuck with the 10 step programme and now, I'm free.

Did the writer of this garbage find a book of cliches, go through them at random and create a song?

I'd join you in the middle of ecstasy, only my sat nav has me sitting in down town Dulwich.

Tonight is the night for....laundry? hair washing? nail polish? oh sex...ummm...sorry no can do tonight, how about next Tuesday, 10.30 okay for you?

Then there's Britney. Never one of life's most meaningful songstress. But while I could sing quite contentedly (behind closed doors) to Toxic, Womanizer is just plain ridiculous. Behold the chorus -

Womanizer, woman-womanizer
You're a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh
You're a womanizer, baby

I just keep thinking - 'so what?' You're a washed up, redneck, who is hardly what one would call, umm...moral, righteous or even, in good taste. Who the fuck are you to call a guy a womanizer? Who cares? Especially, as on the video, our virginal, above reproach Britney is writhing around a steam room seat, wearing nothing but baby oil and sweat.

I wonder if her song-writer had ever heard of 'double-standards' or 'hypocrisy'?


  1. If he's a womaniser why does she need baby oil to tell him?

    I know she's from the South, but surely even Ms Spears has a greater vocabulary than 8 words.

  2. hottie ~ maybe it's because she can't remember more complicated lyrics.

  3. I liked the bit about 'writhing,' 'steam room' and 'nothing but baby oil and sweat.'

    Then I realised you were talking about the delightful Miss Spears.

    By the way - is Radio 2 allowed?

  4. im with you on kiss radio..

    Its what i listen to most days now
    Ive tried norfolk after several people kept trying to educate me(it made me want to get in that rocking chair and go to sleep)give up now Jo and grab the walking stick and
    Broadland- I know you'll get 1 good song 5 naff ones and so many adverts that i found myself longing to hear something decent(i was also alarmed at my sanity as i knew the words to those adverts too..oops)
    Kiss - keeps my mind awake and ill admit i dont just sing along to it, im often dancing round when noones around in the lounge

  5. ATNS ~ you've just proved beyond all shadow of a doubt, you're a bloke. I haven't tried Radio 2. I'll look it up later.

    B*E*G ~ you've just summed up my radio listening reasons perfectly.

    Though, I can't bear the 12-3pm slot. Friday from 3pm is amazing - lots of good dance toones.


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