Do you ever have the feeling that you'd achieve more in life, if you'd just walk out in front of a large moving object? I'm struggling at the moment. Part of the problem...actually, the whole of my problem is ME. I just don't seem to have the energy levels to achieve anything at the moment and I'm making stupid mistakes and procrastinating dangerously with tasks which will prove costly to me.
I'm now doing 4 days a week at work - to be increased to 5, plus my day at college. Our diet is rubbish. I'm behind in my college work. The outstanding stuff is so horrendous, I'm just going to continue to stick my bum in the air and keep my head firmly buried in the sand.
The trouble is I don't know what else to do. I can't not do the college stuff, because that way lies more fulfilling employment, or rather employment where I don't have to stand 7.5 hours a day, for not a lot of money. I can't not do the employment, well, cause, I suppose I need to feed Boy, keep a roof over his head and keep us clothed. Having said that, I'd do all of that a lot better if only I stopped the retail therapy. Honestly, did I really need that pot of Wild Rose face-mask?
Realistically speaking, it's just my Self-Pity Gnome come round for a quick cup of tea and bickie. The sun will come out tomorrow. I will feel better after that whinge. So there.
Bank Holiday Sunday
Dear Dave I woke up today with Philip Glass' Metamorphosis in my head. It's apt really as it was part of the music chosen for your...
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Dear Dave I woke up today with Philip Glass' Metamorphosis in my head. It's apt really as it was part of the music chosen for your... -
*runs around getting the Palais ready* Welcome my dears. As you can see, Boy and I have decorated the Palais into festive mode. There is a g... -
Today, this blog is a year old. In the next two weeks I will be coming to the end of this particular journey. I'm still not sure how I f...
I know things feel really hard sometimes, its juggling work and family and feeling that one is always falling behind, but it will get easier Roses.
ReplyDeleteYou should sit back sometimes and allow yourself tea and biscuits as you deserve them, raising boy on your own with work and college you really are an inspiration my woman..Head up ..
If you need any help you have good friends here, people that would drop everything to come lend a hand in preparing a meal or help get to the bottom of that never ending wash basket..
So dont feel down or sad that you cant keep on top of everything (i cant either, we are not superwomen) but we're all behind our friend and know what you are doing there to better your career, you can do this....
You are such a lovely person and deserve to get your goals.
xxx
Roses, I know it, I have an idea; wear a sari and become and Indian.
ReplyDeleteWhy? Then you will become like me, not that I wear a sari, no way!
What I mean is. you will save money and not do retail therapy. Yes, become and Indian!
Maybe you're being a bit too hard on yourself... it's incredibly difficult juggling work and college, even without the family responsibilities you have. Even when you seem to have the time on paper, that never takes into account the mental effort need to switch from one thing to another, and the physical tiredness - which is normal, unless you're superhuman.
ReplyDeleteWill you be working less days after Xmas/New Year, and be able to spend more time on college work next term? I know your situation is different to me, but I had to admit to myself I'd have to shelve my PhD in the autumn term, as all my teaching happens then. If I'd tried to do 2 jobs and college work too, I'd have either done everything really badly and felt shit about not doing well enough, or risked losing the plot.
Might be worth mentioning it to your tutors though, so they know you're interested in the course but you're having a time-juggling problem. Hope the whinge helped anyway! Take care.
B*E*G ~ thanks honey for your kind words. I have noticed it does get easier, especially when I'm in bed, tucked up and I don't have to get out of it for the next 7 hours. And don't worry, I will shout, loud and long.
ReplyDeletetwining ~ I'm afraid I'm about a quarter of the way there. My great-grandfather was a Tamil from Kerala. He headed out to the West Indies to seek his fortune. I love sari's except I've found them a bit cool to wear and I've never been able to figure out how to put one on by myself.
claire ~ actually, I'm going to have to have a chat with my Course Leader on Monday to ask for an extention. I just can't get my head round things at the moment. Thank goodness I don't have to teach anyone, my patience levels are non-existant at the moment. The more stressed I get, the snappier I get and that's no good for a teacher.
Yes things will calm down after Christmas when I go back to 3 days a week. 6 weeks to go, 6 weeks to go!
Ah, you did remind me of Watership Down :)
ReplyDelete"I'm just going to continue to stick my bum in the air and keep my head firmly buried in the sand."
"Then El-ahrairah knew that Frith was too clever for him and he was frightened. He thought that the fox and the weasel were coming with Frith and he turned to the face of the hill and began to dig. He dug a hole, but he had dug only a little of it when Frith came over the hill alone. And he saw El-ahrairah's bottom sticking out of the hole and the sand flying out in showers as the digging went on. When he saw that, he called out, 'My friend, have you seen El-ahrairah, for I am looking for him to give him my gift?' 'No,' answered El-ahrairah, without coming out, 'I have not seen him. He is far away. He could not come.' So Frith said, 'Then come out of that hole and I will bless you instead of him.' 'No, I cannot,' said El-ahrairah, 'I am busy. The fox and the weasel are coming. If you want to bless me you can bless my bottom, for it is sticking out of the hole.'"
"Then, Frith felt himself in friendship with El-ahrairah, who would not give up even when he thought the fox and the weasel were coming. And he said, 'Very well, I will bless your bottom as it sticks out of the hole. Bottom, be strength and warning and speed forever and save the life of your master. Be it so!' And as he spoke, El-ahrairah's tail grew shining white and flashed like a star: and his black legs grew long and powerful and he thumped the hillside until the very beetles fell off the grass stems. He came out of the hole and tore across the hill faster than any creature in the world. And Frith called after him, ;El-ahrairah, your people cannot rule the world, for I will not have it so. All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.'
IM ~ awwwwww...bless.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm sure it will be like you diss last year. Worry worry worry, stress stress stress. afterward, drinkies!
ReplyDeleteThat should be
ReplyDeletedrinkies , drinkies, drinkies
hehe...xxx
Dear Roses,
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you had Indian ancestry. Can I call you sister? On a serious note, when people oppress others, we look to kind people for support. A thank you from me to you. I have no doubt we have similar experiences. Has Branson responded it though?
Twining
B*E*G ~ tonight, I'm resisting. Just.
ReplyDeletetwinning ~ yep, I'm a bit of a racial mixture. I didn't really find out until about 8 years ago. I did lots of reading, talked to loads of people and then decided I don't feel any different about myself than before. I'm just me.
I'd be honoured for you to call me sister.
If you need anything doing/cooking/pouring let me know. The C-word will soon be out of he way and then as you say things will settle down. I'm sure your tutor will give you an extension. As we all know you are very clever and creative. Anytime you want to replace the self pitying gnome with a slightly squidgy mate with a bottle of red, give me a shout xx
ReplyDelete