XBox Orphan

I am such a good mum. I earned serious Brownie points on Tuesday evening. For the past 18 months Boy has been putting money away like a miser for the event to end all events - the launch of Halo 3. He's only had it on order for the past 6 months and I suspect some where in the depths of his bedroom is a calendar with the days marked off until its release.

Tuesday evening he puts himself to bed at 8pm, and amazingly gets some sleep before I wake him up at 11pm. We walk into the city, through the dark, damp streets to Game, to join about 100 other boys of varying ages. The night is a rich smell of adolescent, excited male sweat. Serious gamers obviously don't believe in the application of soap, water or anti-perspirant. In that throng I was woman number 3. When the shop finally opened the doors, the orderly queue disintegrated into a scrum as gamers pushed for pole position. The staff kindly opened the doors half an hour before release time so we could get out of the cold and wet. So we all got to dry off in the warm. Think of wet dog, many apologies to Murph, but these lads smelt worse. At this point, you have to bear in mind I'd been up at 7am, put in a full day at work on the shop floor and I was pretty knackered. Midnight came with cheers and many lunging for the tills, where staff offered standard and limited editions of Halo 3, there were strategy guides, posters, t-shirts, special editions of the console and controllers, as well as dodgy figurines. People were leaving with bags and bags full of stuff. It took another quarter of an hour before Boy got to the till.

Boy: I'd like Halo 3

Till Girl: (looking panicked)

Me: It's alright, I'm the responsible adult

Till Girl: It is a 15 game.

Me: I know.

Till Girl: I've got to tell you, it has violence, scenes of a gorey nature and general bad behaviour.

Boy: Oh no. Bad behaviour like spitting on the floor and swearing?

Till Girl (trying to keep a straight face): Right, you're all paid up. I have to give the game to you (hands game to me).

On the way back, I tell Boy if he pulls a sickie between now and his birthday I will confiscate Halo 3 until he goes back to school. He thinks that's harsh, but fair. Unfortunately for him, last night he starts coming down with a cold. He's got a cough that would make a 40-a-day smoker proud, but he got himself out of the house, promising that even if he broke his leg, he would still get his butt to school on time. Bless.

Viking has come over for a few days. We were chatting about the Tuesday night event and he shook his head sadly at me as we walk in from the city to the flat in the late afternoon.

Viking: You're too soft with him and his XBox useage you know.

Me: Yeah, I know, but he likes it and he's not falling behind in his schoolwork.

Viking: I just don't think so much XBox is good for him.

Me: The game has just come out, I've taken steps to ensure he doesn't take the piss. He'll be fine.

We get home. Boy is playing Halo 3.

Boy: I'm on XBox Live, want to play?

Viking: Oh yeah!

Now as I type this my son, his friend and my lover are now blowing the bejesus out of each other. I'm on my own. *sigh*