Happy Blogday to Me

Today, this blog is a year old. In the next two weeks I will be coming to the end of this particular journey. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. This afternoon, after a particularly tempestous meeting with our external examiner, I went for a bus ride and tried to take some photos. I was really struck with the fact that it didn't feel right. I was happy enough riding around, listening to my MP3 player and being nosey about other people, but taking photos of the experience...it felt unnecessary and wrong. So I took others instead.

This time last year I had concrete plans: I was going to get a First, I was going to do the full-time MA in Culture and Communication, I was going to get funding, I was going to get a part-time job, I was going to become a lecturer. I was also worried about Boy becoming a teenager, having a long-term relationship (not being in one at the time) and feeling sad about not having any more children (that really bugged me).

This year I have come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to get a First, I'll be happy with a 2.i (well, not happy exactly, but not disappointed either). I get my results Friday. Fortunately, I'm going to be working, otherwise I'd be going on a weekend bender and my liver is a bit fragile at the momet. I've applied to do the part-time MA in Digital Arts at the college and await further instructions. I'm not going to get funding (certainly not without a First, or filling out the application form), I'd rather do the course part-time and work as it gives me more flexibility and I can't be arse to wade through 40 pages of forms (I kid you not). I have had a couple of part-time jobs, the second one has kept me sane, in money and make-up. The first, stressed me to dangerous levels even if it did pay a heck of a lot more. Boy has got taller, broader, a touch moody, a bit spotty, but is the same lovely lad. I still get loads of cuddles and we still have fun hanging out together. He has a cheeky sense of humour and a fabulous smile. I am still potty about him...you might have noticed, probably as I keep going on about him. I am in a relationship, one which I didn't expect, but am enjoying very much. I no longer feel sad that I'm not likely to have more children, I suppose I'm too busy being creative and trying to keep the rest of my life going.

I suppose the biggest change has come from my attitude towards life. I haven't got a clue what's going to be good for me. Rather than trying to impose my will on life in general, I'm just letting it happen and going with the flow. I think I'll try and follow this advice, which you can see over here as well. My energy levels still aren't much to write home about, but I've started exercising again and am pleased to say I've lost 2 lbs last week. I am getting there, just a bit slowly; and no, I still have no idea where I'm going.

When I started writing this blog, I didn't realise that I'd get loads of new friends. New friends who've kept me company when I was low, who encouraged me when I lagged, who gave me loads of virtual hugs when I was pleased with myself. So, thanks very much all of you. I'm really enjoying this journey, I hope you'll stick around to see what the next year will bring.