I sit here with the dregs of my coffee, in my fluffy pink dressing gown, with a pit of dread sitting in my stomach. Today, is a day for goodbyes. Some are merely temporary, some will be permanent. One of my constant challenges is to learn to let go. I'm rubbish at it. I want to hold on to the people I love and not let go, I want to hold on to the things that make me happy. Unfortunately, this does not work for me. So I'm learning to live in the moment, enjoy what happens now and hold the memories in my heart, when I say goodbye.
Grim stuff, I'm sorry. When I started this, I didn't intend to get so bleak so soon. If your eyes are beginning to cross, please click on any of the links to the right of this, normal service will be resumed shortly.
Those of you who visit Snapshots, will know that Ing has had a terrible loss last week. Today, he, his colleagues and Stacey's family gather to mourn their loss and honour a wonderful woman. I met her only briefly, although my attention was firmly focussed on someone else, I remember her smile.
As they say goodbye to Stacey, I can't help but be aware that I am leaving my child, my home, my friends to say goodbye to the man who raised me. I don't want to go. I don't want it to be real. I don't want to have to let him go. I'm really only 6 years old you see, and it hurts. He's my strongest link to my mum, who died 2 1/2 years ago. Ours was by no means an easy relationship; but for a man who took on the role of father late in life to another woman's children, I think he should have a star in Heaven to shine just for him.
Today, I set off to say my goodbyes to him. Thanks to National Express' not taking into consideration flights that leave at stupid o'clock, I'll be kipping down in the South Terminal tonight. I've got a 6 hour coach journey to Gatwick this evening, then after the 3 hour check-in I have a 13 hour flight. When I get to Tobago, I have to clear immigration and customs and for another flight to Trinidad. It's going to be a long jouney.
Bank Holiday Sunday
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What an unspeakably difficult thing you are going to do. My thoughts are with your Roses.
ReplyDeleteYou've been there for me through difficult times, and now I offer the same to you. It ain't easy, but fall back on the people who care about you to keep you going.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
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Never know what to say in these sitations but you are doing the right thing in going and I hope it will go as well as it possibly can given the situation.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
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Thanks for your good wishes. You have no idea how much I appreciate your support.
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