Ladies and Gentlemen, I climbed back on that horse and whipped it's arse! Oh yes I did.
Monday morning I was up early and I did my 30 mins of Pump with Davina. I had lost some ground; I had to go back to lighter weights and I couldn't do all of the intervals. But I did it! And in the grand scheme of things that's all that matters.
Note to Self: when on a Fast Day, do not spend the evening watching food programmes. First there was Come Dine with Me and then Jaime's Super Saver Meals. When Gordon Ramsey came up, that was it. I went to bed. Of course when I could eat what I wanted, I wasn't hungry. Just goes to show eh?
Tuesday I went swimming with a friend. She is one of the most active and sporty people I know. She goes kayaking, camping, swimming in lakes, in the ocean. She has been very kind to me. We used to go swimming in the UEA pool. I'd do a couple lengths, we'd stop, I'd try and catch my breath while we had a chat and then swim a few more til the next breather. We'd probably get out after half an hour and go have a large meal afterwards. On Tuesday, we got in the pool - me bitching about the temperature, of course - we started to swim. We haven't seen each other since February/March time and there's a lot of news to catch up with. After about 3 or 4 laps of swimming and chatting, she turned to me to point out we hadn't stopped! Good grief. We just kept swimming and chatting and I made sure I did another 3 laps after I was tired. And yes, we did have a yummy meal afterwards.
Yesterday, in the office, my boss was talking about a cycling challenge he wanted to do for charity and then he opened it out to everyone in the office. He wants to cycle from Norwich to Amsterdam. No, he doesn't mean cycle 2 seconds to Norwich Airport, grab the next flight out to Amsterdam either! He means cycle from Norwich to Harwich, catch the ferry and then over Amsterdam. He reckons that's 2 days of cycling, plus of course 2 days recovering in Amsterdam itself!
In a moment of abject stupidity, I signed up for it.
I'll tell you why.
My default position is horizontal and slightly melancholy. I am a lazy shit when it's all said and done.
If I want to achieve the things I want, my default position needs to change. Since Monday night, I've had a growing sense of determination. I'm tired of apologising for myself and the way I live my life. Last week was the last time I will apologise for living life by my rules. If I have to sell every last Shiny Thing in my Life, so I have the money to write, I will. If I have to eat lentils for the rest of my impoverished life, I will. Boy is off to university. I have given him the best start I can, it's now up to him, he will have to make his own way. And I know he will. Whatever roads he chooses to travel on, they will be exactly the right roads for him.
But now, it's all about me.
Exercising is a physical metaphor I am generalising across my Life. If I can set my mind to get up half an hour earlier to work out and work hard at it, I can edit my 15,000 word story and get it in on time. I can apply the seat of my pants to the seat of my chair and bash out 2,000 words a day of my next story.
I signed up for the Amsterdam ride because I want a goal to strive towards.
I texted Dave and waited for the disbelieving laughter. As I waited, I realised I didn't want to do it without him. He knows bikes, he knows challenges and he knows me.
When he came back it was with good humoured teasing. When I went over to his home last night and we talked it through, his concern was that I wouldn't be ready in time for Spring. The training regime I'd have to adopt would require far more time and money than I have available to me right now. He looked me straight in the eye and said I would do it, just not this coming Spring.
I have thought about it and ultimately I trust his judgement. I think he's right. For me to do that challenge I need a bike, I need the time on said bike and I need the equipment and everything else that goes with it. At the moment I'm borrowing his. It's a mountain bike, not a road bike. The mountain bike is more comfortable for my back on the road, but for 150 miles? Not so much. It's too heavy. It's going to take me awhile to save up to get a bike that can do that kind of work.
Do I feel disappointed? Not at all. On the contrary, I am energised.
There's the Norwich 50 next Summer and there are some really groovy coastal rides to get my teeth into. I've also got my eye on the Norwich Park Run. I will be sitting down and working out what I want to do and getting it in the calendar.
I also now have the bones of my next project. It's another novella, but this time 25,000 words. It will be a paranormal romance. And before you even go there - no, there will be no sparkling vampires!