Snow Joke

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's snowing! Yes, really. 

It's snowing in Norwich, Norfolk, UK, in the winter.

The view from my study window as I write

Boy rightly pointed out last night, for people in the UK, Facebook has become the 2nd Met Office, 

Readers on the other side of the pond, naming no names (Pearl and Ponita), for whom the first snowfall of the year appears promptly when expected, but sometimes leaves a bit late, you might be slightly confused at this excitement over a 2 inch snowfall. Let me explain.

Snow in the UK can be a bit hit and miss.

The year before I rocked up to Norfolk, there was huge snowfall. So much so, round here you can start a conversation "It was during that snow in '87..." and you'll have people nodding in time with your anecdote. Coming from hot and humid Trinidad, I got all excited. Ice and fog, I saw a lot of; snow, not so much. It was a big disappointment. It was three years before I saw snow that settled for more than two minutes. 

There was snow on the ground on the day I got married, and for my honeymoon weekend it was gone. 

Over the years since then, the British winter has more often than not, been snow free. That seems to have changed over the past four years. The last four years, there has been snow in Norfolk every year.

I say that like it's a big thing. You in Denmark, hush. It is a big thing.

The problem is we can't ever properly prepare for it. Not being funny or anything, I'm a writer; money leaves me faster than rats on the Titanic. I just don't have the required £700 for a set of winter tyres for my precious Shiny Car. It's cheaper for me to work from home or just take the bus to the office for the few days I get snowed in.

Now, if you've been paying attention (wake up, you in the back), you'll be aware that I live in a city. You'll be scratching your head, wondering how the hell I could get snowed in.

This is my view from my bedroom window. You'll note there's only space for one car to pass with everyone parked on both sides of the road.

Imagine that partially melting during day, no grit/salt, and then freezing again at night. I live in a small dip, think of it as a small valley. There are steep roads leading down to my little valley. Now imagine them also only having room enough for one car to pass, no salt or grit, partially melting and then freezing.

You're now beginning to get the idea that it's a little bit exciting round here in these conditions. Trying to stop a car traveling at 5 mph, becomes a 50/50 chance of metamorphosing into an insurance claim.

This is why I'm glad I'm writing at home for the next couple of days. I'll have to take the bus to the office on Thursday. Happily, the bus stop into town isn't far from here and they run regularly. Even better than that, I purchased these bad boys a few weeks ago:

Ladies and Gentlemen, these are Magnum Raptor, tactical urban utility boot. Designed for the security services, they turn me into The Amazing Spider Woman when I walk on ice. 

At this point, I know several of my gay friends are sobbing piteously into their lace hankies that such un-sparkly, un-fashionable and frankly darling, ugly shoes, see my feet. All their gentle teachings on fashion and sexy shoes have been for naught. 

Darlings, I'm so sorry.

I chose comfort over style yet again.

These boots are made for walking and kicking ass. And this winter I'm ready and prepared to do both!