2011, The Year that Was...

going to be 'Stop Thinking About It, DO IT'.


That was my only resolution. But within that, I started exercising, gave up smoking several times, stopped exercising and kept smoking.


Do I feel a failure about it? No, not really. Because when I chose that resolution, I just wanted to get moving again. I wanted to have a Life. Rather than sitting 24/7 at my laptop, I wanted to do stuff. And it didn't matter if I didn't follow through, I just wanted to have a go.


Have a go, I certainly did. I became an NLP Practitioner and dragged my Boy in after me. If I thought it, I aimed to do it.


So, what was 2011 like? Well, painful and stressful immediately come to mind. It was the first year after my dad died, which was never going to be fun. I was working in two places, and then in March, I started doing 4 days a week at the financial services. I'm glad I made the move. I have learnt an awful lot. I work with and for fantastic people. And it means I write. It seems that it doesn't matter what I write, as long as I write. If I don't, I become totally crazy (as opposed to partially crazy).


This was the year when things began to make more sense to me. I began to understand the role that values play in mine and other peoples' lives. And quite simply, I began to see why some things work and don't work in this context. This in return made for quite an interesting time as far as my love-life was concerned.


Looking back on it, I can't ever think of a time when my love-life has ever been so active. Truly. Things kicked off with the German, end of April and I kicked him to the curb in middle of May. Thinking back on it, in terms of values, he was unkind and miserly, both emotionally and physically and he didn't respect me. Then there was the Surgeon, who could have been lovely, if only he wasn't so wounded. After he stood me up, I decided that really wasn't good enough, I did invite him to remain friends which he never took me up on. And I didn't miss him anyway. In between M. le Frog, hopped in and out creating havoc in my heart. And then there was Northern Bloke...ah yes. We met on FB after the riots, we met physically twice. Perhaps the most 'interesting' of my encounters, especially looking at his values. Which I never saw. They were shrouded in the nice words he thought he should say. His definitions were never fully-formed or indeed, transparent. Interesting considering he's in a similar line of work to my mentor. This should have ensured we'd share common ground, values and interests. Nope. Didn't mean bugger all. He thought he was up to the task of challenging my reality. It still rankles slightly, and just goes to show how arrogant I am, what annoys me is that he thought he could take me on. I have two degrees and I'm an NLP Practitioner *and* he thought he could bend me to his will? Really? Eejit. M. le Frog hopped in and then finally, completely out of my heart.


Because, the week before I went down to London, to meet Northern Bloke, I'd made a new friend. Lawrence and I became partners-in-crime. We'd go to gigs, go on walks, go to dinner, hang out. It was a friendship that meant so much to me. Slowly, slowly, it grew into something more. 


So, that's got to be one of the biggest changes of 2011. 


What does 2012 have in store? Who can say? According to the Mayans, this year the apocalypse begins. I'm just waiting for the exact date so I can stop paying my credit card.


Anyway, in all seriousness now. Given the success of last year's, and I do count it a success, I've decided I will listen to my inner wisdom. Sounds easy, doesn't it?


Hah. Shows what you know.


My inner wisdom is telling me that there are big changes to be made this year. I stopped smoking midnight, my body is making it damn clear it won't tolerate it for much longer. I am also aware that my body needs to move more. There's the small matter of my finances to sort out. My stress levels to attend to...yeah, I think I've got enough to be getting on with at the moment.