The Excitement that is my What Life

It's Friday evening. I've come home from work, peeled off the work armour and am now lounging in comfy clothes. Boy and I had a brief, shouted discussion that went along the lines of:

"I'm off to hang out with my best friend. I think I'll spend the night. I've got my stuff. Bye!"

So it's just me and the cat. I think this calls for a Chinese takeaway and a large glass of naughtiness. I deserve it.

As part of my Sales and Marketing remit, I get to receive the joy that comes through the info@ e-mail address. You know how much I love spam. Generally speaking, I receive 91 e-mails a day from that address, and of those 3 will be work related. Picture me, clutching my coffee, tapping out 'I don't want your fake degree' or 'I don't care if you are a busty, blonde lonely Russian babe' in morse code on my [delete] key. Perhaps if I set it up right, I could play a tune on it. I get regular reminders from Nat West, Abbey National and HSBC to follow the link and update my financial information, despite the fact, these financial giants have yet to see the whites of my eyes. And of course, there is the endless stream of cheap drugs guaranteed to enlarge my member, keep it up and keep her satisfied.

I was deleting it, half asleep this morning when I stopped mid-stroke. I know about Viagra (only $1.25 per pill - bargain), but I hadn't a clue what Cialis, or Tramadol or Soma were. I texted my favourite drug dealer, Hottie and asked her what they were.

I freely admit I am fascinated by other peoples' sex lives. I'm glued to the Channel 4 documentaries about BDSM etc. and yes, I did use to watch Euro Trash in it's height of power. According to my boss, if there's a clump of pampas grass growing in the front of the property, the couple inside are swingers. Since he told me, I've not been able to look at the frothy fronds with a straight face. Tell me, is it true?

Anyway, according to Hottie, Tramadol is a heavy duty pain killer, she took an educated guess that Soma is likely to be a sleeping drug and didn't have a clue what Cialis might be for, they are US drugs and her bible doesn't cover them. I'm really quite 'vanilla' in my tastes, I don't do anything that requires an instruction manual, props or the services of an osteopath afterwards. And while I'm aware of the breadth of human sexuality, is it just me that finds the thought of a sex life between two consenting adults where Viagra, heavy duty painkillers and sleeping pills are required, slightly worrying?

Comments

  1. Hello You!

    I know what Cialis is, but not through experience I should add! Its just another brand of the same type of drug as Viagra.

    I've got quite a few Ice Hockey games taped from the playofffs a few years ago and at the time I think it must have just been approved by the FDA and there were adverts for it left right and centre!

    Hope you're well!

    Bx

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  2. beth ~ hi! Ah, that's what it is. Thanks for the enlightenment. Yep, I'm not too bad at all thanks. Loved your Halloween pictures by the way. You looked the business. :-)

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  3. What I want to know is how the spammers find out!?

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  4. Where l am working at the moment they have several patients on Viagra l met one the other day, a little terrier. Viagra is useful for heart problems, well in dogs at any rate. So it isn't just used for sex.

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  5. The house three doors down from my childhood home had a HUGE clump of pampas grass in the front garden and now I come to think about it, they were always having parties on a saturday night and parking in front of our driveway which aggravated my mother no end...we thought they were just popular or had a big family...

    *goes off to break news to mother about the nice folks down the road*

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  6. the dotterel ~ welcome. I've spent many an evening with a glass of naughtiness pondering how my small, impotent penis made international news. They spammed me even before I became a blogger.

    vetnurse ~ pull up a chair, nice to see you here. So it's not just a drug for Pele then? Good to know it's got other uses.

    NM ~ What did she say? I'm soo nosey. I bet when you're walking around now, you're looking for pampas grass...

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  7. Hello from far away! I have ordered that our pampus grass be torn up before we return - it never worked anyway! Not like the headache tablets - that removes all excuses nicely. As for taking a terrier to bed with you which has heart problems - that IS taking things too far! Tallyho! x

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  8. Hope you enjoyed the naughtiness. I've told you before about the couple we used to dispense for when I worked in communtiy pharmacy? He was on Viagra and she was prescibed Rohypnol (for sleeping). Always used to make us smile.

    I'm pleased I never get such exciting spam - my prefernces for drugs is bordering on beige.

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  9. Lord Noel ~ good to see you. You mean there are things you WOULDN't do? Wow.

    hottie ~ I didn't have it in the end, I got distracted. Well, if she's getting a good night's sleep and he's helping himself, I suppose they're both happy....?

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  10. Well my parents had a massive clump of pampas grass in front of our old place. They definitely weren't Swingers! Lol

    I used to take Tramadol. Hateful. Kills the pain but knocks you out to such an extent it wouldn't matter if it killed it or not because you were unable to stay awake on it!!!

    Your body does get hardened to it though so I don't know if that's a temporary side effect or not?

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  11. G*N*D ~ perhaps that's why they moved? Got tired of odd couples turning up on their doorstep?

    I'm sure it's possible to build up a high tolerance to anything: tramadol, valium, boredom...

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  12. (crosses fingers) - I don't get much spam.
    But yesterday I got a letter from Spain telling me I'd won over a million Euros in a Spanish 'Loteria'.
    Didn't take long to find the name on a Scammers site.
    But the millisecond adrenaline buzz was really good.

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  13. kaz ~ there's nothing quite like the thrill & then the plummet as you realise, you didn't buy a ticket.

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