Winter Solstice Invitations

The last time (which was the first time) I held a party. People complained bitterly that I didn't give enough notice. Therefore, consider yourself notified.

I will be throwing the virtual doors of Palais de Roses open next Monday (21st December) to celebrate the Winter Solstice. It's that time of year when we gather to mark the turning of the Wheel of the Year. We give thanks for the blessings we have received and look forward for the lengthening of the days. It's the time of year when we turn inwards and reflect on the goals we will be setting ourselves for the coming year.

It is also the best time to indulge in our friendships and loves. Giving tokens of appreciation. Whether homemade or shop-bought, it's a time for pressies! Woo Hoo!

And I fully expect we'll be indulging in a lot of this:

Let's have a good old knees up!

Stationery Support Group

Hello. My name is Roses and I am about to share a deeply disturbing problem of mine.

I am addicted to stationery.

Yes, I know it's shocking. But it's true.

I love stationery. Pens, pencils, paper, note books, journals, diaries, push pins. All of it. I love it so much. I have to have it.

Borders, the massive bookseller has now been taken outside and is in the process of being shot. I trooped down there a few days ago to secure my W&A 2010 edition and also The Creative Writing Coursebook as my copies went walkabout a few years ago and both are good resources to have, especially as my skills are so bloody rusty at the moment. Normally, I get my stationery fix at WH Smith. I have my brand of choice pens and my brand of choice paper. However, while I was in the rummage sale that Borders has become, I stopped by Paperchase. Oh boy. Or I could just say 'ouch' and leave it at that. Those of you who don't understand my stationery pecadillo can leave now and see you another time; thanks for dropping by.

Of course, Paperchase aren't taking part in the 20% off everything. Unfortunately. It didn't stop me buy a handful of cards, postcards and I thought I'd try a new flavour of pen. Today, lured by promises of lunch, I met Dave in town. We ate, caught up and then I sent him home. He still is not his bright, energetic self and unfortunately, is too well brought up to say he's had enough, or to just to go home. He is very big and brave.

Anyway, back to stationery.

I wandered around H&M looking for a hat that would a) fit and b) not make me look stupid. I gave up on the not looking stupid part and got a couple of wooly hats and a new scarf and then went back into Borders. How was that a good idea? Of course I had to buy a copy of The Virago Book of Ghost Stories and something for Boy towards his Yule pile and then I wandered into Paperchase. I now have more pens, cards and a postcard that reads: Make yourself at Home, Clean my Kitchen! Needless to say my credit card is a quivering mass in the corner, thoroughly exhausted. But I have just remembered that I need some of those post-it indexers and probably more pritt stick.

Damn.

Breaking up is Hard to Do

Earlier this year I started a relationship. It came out of stress and angst and in it's own way, it preserved my sanity. However, it is becoming more and more clear to me that I can't continue with it. It may very well be the death of me. The problem is, like all things which are fundementally bad for me, I want it all the more now. As I write this, I want to roll a smoke.

It has become a ritual. With that familiarity, a sense of peace, stepping out of the stresses of the day, just for 2 minutes at time. It's completely my time. I stare into my garden and let my thoughts go into free-fall. Inspiration often strikes at these moments. Problems and insights which have eluded me in the house, become clear and firm.

My GP has stated categorically that I can't smoke. He says I have the potential for an addictive personality and my lungs can't cope with the regular assault. He's not concerned about cancer, his worry is bronchitis and emphasema. The current tightness round my chest rather does reinforce this message.

I am not going to go cold turkey. My life has too much going on it right now, for that to be a viable option. Turning into Bitch-from-Hell because I've given up nicotine and creating mass destruction around me will not help me achieve my long-term goals: an easy life.

Wish me luck.

Currently smoking: 6 a day.

Forgive me Mr Bank Manager...

...for I have sinned. I got carried away with trivial, frivolous things and yea, I bounceth off my overdraft facility yet again.

I did need a new CD alarm from the den of iniquity that is Argos, to play me soothing sounds so I might rest well and be woken up gently. This way I can go to work refreshed and able to earn money to keep you in your BMW.

I have over-indulged in frothy coffees and meals in the staff canteen, cafes and takeaways. I now am making interesting and healthy packed lunches as penance. No more shall I covet Wagamamas or Pizza Express. This I do swear.

Lo, I hang my head in shame for the weakness that lead to the purchase of not just one, but two bottles of OPI nail polish. Their sexy, sparkely shades of red, one of which (Midnight in Moscow) is such a dark red it looks black, seduced me. I admit it, I was weak.

And thus, I count the hours til pay day and keep my fingers crossed that your wrath does not lead to a £30-a-day charge. But...to tide me over until then, I will need to visit M&S for a bottle of naughtiness to keep me sane as I continue to work 6 days in row.

Treacle Day

Today is my day off, I just wish I had the energy to enjoy it. Everything aches including my head and I feel...well the best I can say is Bleaugh! It's a technical medical term that I've gleaned from those medical blogs. Tasks that are fairly simple to do normally, seem to be taking ages. My brain is processing everything that much more slowly and I feel as if I'm drifting through treacle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy or feeling blue. I'm just not doing anything particularly quickly, efficiently or even promptly, which is fine I suppose as it's my day off.

The last few weeks my hayfever has been grim, but it seems to be settling down at the moment. I'll resist giving you a blow by blow account of my symptoms, I'm sure you don't need to hear about the itchy eyes, constant sneezing and general ick that goes with this time of year for me. Besides, it's hayfever. I'm not dying. It's just inconvenient.

The Council finally came and fixed my roof on Thursday. Of course it hasn't rained since then, which sums up my luck. But hey, it's done. My ceiling has an interesting look to it kind of sagging papier mache kind of look, but I can live with it. I can hang something to cleverly disguise it, or simply ignore it until I muster the enthusiasm for decorating my front room again, not likely to happen for a while yet.

I haven't managed to do anymore work on my writing project recently. I've been busy with work and trying to catch up with people and I'm feeling the lack. It's weird how itchy I become if I don't write. It's not so much a past-time, but an absolute necessity. The other plus about writing is that I tend to get loads of other stuff done if I think about my writing. For example, I'm supposed to be working on it now. In the time that I set aside to do my writing I've: upgraded my MS Office, I've emptied the fridge of all things mouldering, had a quick tidy round, done the bins, watered the plants, tidied my desk, done some admin. All of which needed to be done....days/weeks ago.

Last week I got a call from a friend of mine asking if I was able to do emergency reception/office work. I didn't like to say no. So, I've picked up 4 days work in the midst of my PCH work. I did one day Friday and will do the others next week. I must admit it is rather fun pottering around an office. It's really nice getting home and not feeling completely rung out. I knew I was tired from my normal work but I'd never quite appreciated how hard retail is on the legs. My counter manager is going away on holiday for two weeks, so I'll be going full time, which will be a complete killer. Office work 5 days a week is a doddle compared to retail that's for sure.

Just in case anyone's wondering: Hottie really is a Goddess! She gave me a fab pressie this week, which I have test driven today - a coffee machine! How cool is that? I bought some really nice, proper coffee and my cup this afternoon was heavenly. Unfortunately, I'm suffering from caffiene overload, but oh, it was yummy. I'm really looking forward to my morning cup tomorrow. Boy even commented on how nice the flat smelt with it going. I just need to get the ratio of ground coffee to water right. I'm not normally a huge fan of kitchen gadgets, but this coffee machine seems to be built for ease of use and convience.

Anyway, I'd better slope off. I'm in the midst of making burgers for Boy and me and there are a hundred and one things that I really should be doing...

Keeping Myself in the Manner to Which...

Did I tell you I was very naughty while I was in duty-free? Oh yes, I am a bad, bad girl. For I bought a bottle of Hermes Un Jardin en Mediteranee. Forgive me, oh bank manager, I know not what overcame me. Why I needed this bottle of fragrance to keep the other 8 bottles company, I'll never know. But damn, it smells good!

Monday was my first day back at work. I probably had about 3 hours of sleep and was feeling like a dog's dinner. But one of the things I'm learning about sleep deprivation is the more disturbed nights you have, the more you get used to functioning without. So I put on my slap and managed to get in 5 mins late, but all was well. I'd been away for two weeks and the first part of the morning was spent trying out the new fragrances which have snuck in while I wasn't looking. The new Prada fragrance Infusion d'Iris had pride of place, as did the new line to us: Miller Harris. Oh my goodness, so many new scents to try, so little time.

Infusion d'Iris is a bit of an 'old' scent, but I lurve it. I wore it all day and was really pleased with it. It's got strong hints of Iris which contributes to the 'old' flavour, I suppose I should be really saying 'classic' instead of 'old'. I think it's divine.

I also had the pleasure of sniffing Gwen Stefani's offering L.A.M.B. We are currently offering it with a free gift, a gold plastic, square cut bracelet, for size zero models. Ummm...I'm searching for the right words to describe this celebrity fragrance...bear with me. I was reading in a weekend magazine that celebrity fragrance tends to be simple scents, with one or two main ingredients, and are produced within very tight time frames. These tend to appeal to the younger end of the market. The more classic fragrances are blended with expensive ingredients, multiple scents and take several years to develop. Ultimately, the attention to detail shows. In 5 years time, who will be parting with good cash for Shh...? Anyway, I digress. L.A.M.B...it's a foul, chavvy perfume. I've tried, but I really can't come up with a better way to describe it. Gwen Stefani is a beautiful striking woman, but she chose her marketing of this product on a really off day. Keep making music and stay out of perfuming. Please.

And by the way, as Norwich's independent department store, we have certain standards to maintain, and no, we aren't ever, in any lifetime, going to be stocking Jordan's fragrance. I fear I'm turning into snobby, orange, department store woman.

Ah yes and I have news. Alix and her husband are off to the Big Smoke to pursue groovy careers in film and art and generally to be fabulous luvvies. Great for them, but I'm going to miss them. Humpf. However, this means that there is a staff vacancy. The Buying Manager came over to me second thing Monday to not only offer me Alix's hours, but another day as well! I'm so chuffed. It means regular employment and although I'll lose my flexible working, that's 3 days a week as a fully paid up, member of staff. I'll be taking on Alix's house as well as taking on another house of fragrances. So more lots more responsibility, but more perks too. And funnily enough, no mention has been made about my nose stud.

Oops I did it Again

Yes, I did. I shared a bottle of wine with Gee who just got back from visiting her daughter in Boston. I still have my poetry critical appraisal to write: all 550 words of it. And I want to pick up the phone and make drunken phone calls, declaring undying love to all and sundry. Though, I keep ringing Sundry and he's refusing to answer. Smart man. I don't know why I want to speak to long lost friends only when I'm a bit tiddly. Why I suddenly need and must tell them I love them and miss them; when in fact it's been 2 years, 6 months and 3 days since our last conversation. How bizarre am I?

Boy has gone off to friends for the afternoon, leaving me to get on with my writing. I've caught up on the gossip with Gee instead. He's so lovely. He wants to stay this weekend, despite the fact he's not likely to get fed anything vaguely nutritional, or have any kind of civil conversation with me. Bless him.

As for the rest of it, I'll get round to it. As soon as I've finished making these phone calls and sobered up.

Saturday Shopping

I'm almost prepared for the interview Monday. I have my interview undies. My boy was completely perplexed why new nix would make a difference, but he was game enough to troop around M&S as I tried to make my mind up. Once I made my mind up I had a look at their shoes....

I have developed a shoe fetish. Their shoes are amazing. I found the most amazing pair of black shoes, they must have been about 3 inches high, they had ribbons. Cheeky power shoes. If I get the job, they are so going to be coming home with me. After M&S, I went into Next and looked at their shoes. Oh yummy. Dainty shoes with glitter and sparkles and tiny tiny straps! Nothing fortunately in my size, because if I bought the shoes, I'd have to buy something to wear with them. Like a slinky dress from Monsoon....

Don't worry, I'm not going to give into temptation. I've got will power and there's no point buying sexy shoes and a gorgeous dress (and of course accessories to match), without having something to go to, in order to show it all off. But I have been wearing my 'oops' shoes, flashing my shiny pink toes off. The cat always looks at me with disdain. I'm used to it.

Rewards

So I haven't quite done everything I intended, but I've pretty much done the important bits.

I wrote one begging letter to the bus company. I prostrated myself asking for sponsorship for this project and my CP says he will also write to them on my behalf. It would mean so much to be able to have a travel pass. My cash flow can't cope with any other expenses at the moment. So, fingers crossed. I'm hoping to get the letters in the post tomorrow. Watch this space. If it doesn't succeed I'm going to be rattling my tin cup at you.

I also wrote a project proposal. Well, actually, it is more of a project outline. It currently lacks a budget and a risk assessment, but as I'm doing it for my own edification, I'm not fussed. Doing the proposal was a brilliant exercise in focussing. I am now starting to build a framework from which the dissertation and project will be hung. Actually that's not right. I'm getting together a list to take to the hardware store. But that's okay, I've got lots of time still, even if it nearly is the end of bloody August.

An e-mail is now winging it's way to Mike Carter (him of the Observer Uneasy Rider series I've been going on about). I'm going to try and wangle an interview with him. See if riding around Europe on a BMW motorbike sorted out his mid-life crisis, or whether it merely postponed it. I must admit I think he's been extraordinarily honest in the first few articles. So, we'll see if he'll be interested in talking to me.

I'm going to have a shower, try and gather some energy together and polish up my CV. Next on the To Do List: job. I'm a great believer in rewards, I treated myself to a fish and chip supper, very greasy, way too tasty. I'm so naughty! A woman has to have some vices, such a shame that one will hang around my hips and bum for the next millenia.