Showing posts from February, 2015

Holding the fort

This is how Z described it while she's on Granny duties. In truth it's more a cross between baby-sitting and crowd control.

I've been tasked with looking after the chickens and the tots (Anastasia and Natasha - Russian Tortoises).

While the tots are content with basking in the glow of their heat lamp, eating copious amounts of lambs lettuce and swilling vodka doing their traditional Russian dancing, the chickens are another matter completely.

They lulled me into a false sense of security. Sunday evening they milled about the chicken pen innocently, pecking at the ground; they ate their dinner and went to bed without any bother. Yesterday morning however, they put their plans into action. I greeted them as normal, "Morning ladies." They ignored me and huddled together. I opened the door and a little black hen made a break for it.

Okay, I thought. I'll deal with you in a bit. I've looked after small children, I know how to prioritise my battles. The others mere…

Showing Up

This has not been the best weeks I've ever had. The euphoria of being free to pursue my creative and caring impulses has died down to be replaced with: Oh My Gods - what was I thinking? Closely followed by: I Can't Do This; and the ever-helpful: I Am Not Worthy of my Dreams. The job stacking shelves at Tesco when I'm 80, because I don't have a pension, has been calling me and 2, 3 and 4 o'clock in the morning. I won't lie, I think I cried my way through half a box of tissues yesterday.

I picked up the Big Girl Pants and put them away. I gave myself permission to be scared, fearful, doubtful and terrified. I sat with them and then when the time came, I went out and got good nails and fabulous eyebrows. Because if I'm going to fall apart, then at least let me have two bloody eyebrows!

Today, hasn't happened very quickly. It's taken me all morning to do my workout, get clean and dressed. I've cleaned my hearth, hauled my wood and coal and built my fi…

Hello February

When January began, I had everything all planned out. I wrote in my diary the time table for getting fit. I planned out my first novel and wrote down when it would be completed. I was waiting eagerly for the start of my Introduction to Counselling course. I was exceptionally nervous and full of doubts, but ready to go for it.

And then I went back to work at the office.

I've been at Insight for over 4 years. It is the longest I've ever worked anywhere. Ever. It's been absolutely brilliant. No two days have ever been the same and the people are brilliant (if slightly bonkers, which is probably why I got on there so well).

After the first couple of weeks and the start of my counselling course, I realised it was time. Those two weeks I was distracted and grumpy and tired because my heart wasn't in my work. Neither was my head. The counselling was course was everything I'd hoped it would be and more.

I took stock of everything I want to do this year and where I want to be a…