Friday, August 30, 2013

Getting Ready for University

Did I mention that Dunelm Mill is the Devil's Market Place? It over takes that other Den of Iniquity called Ikea, especially since it's only 15 minutes drive away. When I moved from the house to The Flat, I got rid of a lot of Stuff. And then, I bought a whole load more. Things I didn't know I needed until I saw it and once I brought them home with me, I spent hours wondering how on earth I lived without them.

It's not all silliness. I needed things like lamp shades, blankies, lunch boxes. The little things that have all added up. And mostly things that go with purple. Because I've got a thing with purple decor going on. No, before you ask, I don't know why. I just do. No one else knows why either. Boy has given up and just gives me a look. Dave, well Dave has a thing about lime green, so he has no room to talk.

Things like this: 

Practical and stylish

That folding step ladies and gentlemen is amazing. As you know, I am a short arse. Therefore, being able to get up those 4 inches higher, is ridiculously useful. And look! It folds flat, thus being practical and space saving. 

Isn't it marvellous?

So, when Boy needed a few things for his room and for university, of course that's where we had to go. 

Before we started the move, I sorted through quite a lot of kitchen stuff for Boy. I was lucky that we had an extra crockery set and I kept our old cutlery exactly for this circumstance.  I'd also bought bedding and a new duvet for him a couple of weeks ago. When we went over to Dunelm this afternoon, I knew we wanted 3 pans, a wok and a mattress protector. 

No, I have no idea what happened. I do know Boy was very gracious in that he agreed he'd take some of the old stuff in the kitchen and let me have new purple stuff. Yes, I really did need that purple grater. And the tongs. And the strainer. And the whisk. But I drew the line at the purple can opener, because that would be just silly.

We also got him folding chair and a collapsable laundry basket. He wanted them both in black, like his soul. 

Dear Gods I'm going to miss him.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Motivation is like Bathing...

It's true, you need to do it every day. Or you start to smell (or in my case, watch the flab take hold again).

I've been working, drinking coffee and generally trying to annoy Boy as much as possible given the little time we spend together and the fact he's not long here.

Oh yes, it's now officially 2 years since Dave and I met and started hanging out. It's a bit of a shock to find that not only have I found someone who can put up with me - I want to put up with him! Yeah, I'm still partial to him.

I've been busy budgeting and spending money. How does that work, I hear you ask? Well, do you remember I used to work in fragrance and then in cosmetics? Since that time, nothing but the best in skin care that money can buy has graced this face. I suppose, thinking about it, it's still true. After all, I'm still buying the best I can afford. But, to give you an idea, I went out and bought a massive bag of skin care: foaming cleansers, cleansing cream, lotion, moisturiser, eye cream, eye roll on - all for the price of a pot of face cream I bought myself last time! And do you know what? It's just as good as - actually, it's better! I'm really loving it. 

I've also been trying to re-arrange my finances. In other words, I'm juggling things around. Money is a bit like spinning plates, as long as it keeps moving, it's fine. Just don't stop. I'm juggling people, I'm juggling. Truthfully, it's not as bad as I sometimes think it is, but neither is it great. It's a question of being canny, which I'm learning to be.

It's time for me to get back on the exercise horse. My back is no longer hurting, but is beginning to do that ache which says it needs to be strengthened. I'm a long way off my ideal weight and Dave and I keep looking at the bikes. It'd be good to get in some good rides before the autumn really starts setting in.

The fact of the matter is, I'm feeling okay. Not exactly where I want to be, but closer than I was at the beginning of this summer - which at least tells me I'm moving in the right direction. 

Friday, August 16, 2013

When a Plan Comes Together

It's been a helluva week, one thing and another. Because Dave loves me more than life itself, he felt he had to give me his lovely cold. We're having a chat later on about appropriate gifts (chocolates, flowers, sparkly things) later on.

It kicked in, with a sore throat that felt like Mike Tyson used and abused me and as a finishing touch, force fed me razor blades. Honestly, I felt wretched. I crawled into work on Wednesday and managed half a day before I crawled back home again. Of course, the cold loves me so much, it's moved into my sinuses. Deep joy.

And then there was the waiting for results. As you know, four months ago, I put my Plan for World Domination into place and began renovating my flat for me to move into and fixing up the house to rent out. You know how much I've enjoyed that process. Not. We moved a month ago. It's been very clear when we started piling stuff into Boy's room that his boyhood bedroom couldn't cope with him as a man. We've just about managed to squeeze his furniture in there with him and thanks to a friend at work - a single bed. I swear that room shrank when we moved out. He can't use his space as he would really like. It's just not big enough. No girlfriends overnight, no friends bunking on the floor, it's not really even big enough for him to sprawl out and chillax in.

Results day loomed and we were very, very nervous. If he didn't get into Lincoln University, he didn't have any standbys, he just knew that was the course, that was the place he wanted to be.

Yesterday, he got himself off to college bright and early to get his results and to check the system. He rang me at 8.20 to say he'd been accepted to do a BA in Advertising in Marketing! 


I couldn't figure out whether they were tears of joy, relief or sorrow that he would be leaving me. The fact of the matter is: my Boy done good. He's all set. 

Now, it's just a question of getting him set up properly. I've ordered him a laptop. He'll be able to sort out student software etc, once he starts the course in September. We've got to get him bedding and pans. 

I'm so proud of him Ladies and Gentlemen. He did it!

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Been and Gone

Last Friday, Z very kindly let me build a bonfire in her garden. In the final preparations ahead of the move, we'd talked about the possibility of my 'borrowing' her back garden to set fire to some old diaries, journals and coursework from my creative writing degree. When I looked at the amount of space these journals and diaries etc were taking up, I had to stop and have a long think as to why I continued to hang on to them. 

I had a shelf full of hardbacked art journals filled with the results of endless tarot readings. When I started going to creative writing courses, I started to do my 3 pages a day to write the crap out of my head. Pages and pages of dross. These books were filled with relationship problems and my relentless search for a life partner. Dull, dull, dull.

I lugged them through 3 house moves and I refused to make it a fourth. 

After all, it's not like I ever referred to them for information; and actually, looking at them from over here - I know that was me then, but it's not me now and they are entirely irrelevant to my experience of life now. 

The great thing about the Past, is that's it's been and gone. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I survived! Not only that, I'm sitting here getting ready to kick off the next part of my life - that as a woman with an independent Boy. Do I need to re-hash all that shite? No, not really. If ever I get the urge, I can always dip into the archives of my various blogs where I grappled with and agonised over The Meaning of Life.

As we stood watching it all burn, Z and I talked and toasted the flames. She asked me how I felt, if going through the ritual burning made any difference.

I don't feel any different, if I'm totally honest. I do feel grateful I no longer have to lug those damn journals about, but no, I still feel me. Me at 43, still writing, still working, still being a lover, a friend, a mother. Still absolutely bloody skint (but with options). I'm a bit tired, a bit apprehensive about the whole financial thing, I'm wondering how the parent bit will turn out when Boy goes off to university.

Ultimately, as the year has progressed, I am more and more focused on achieving financial sustainability through my writing and I think the foundations are nearly set and ready for me to start seriously building. Autumn and Winter will find me alone, pounding the keyboard of my laptop, deep in thought. 

I'm really looking forward to it. The next step...